Building an Online Presence and Connection via Text
"Are you even real?"
Clients in text therapy sometimes wonder where are you, or are you a real person or just an AI. Without a physical office or a voice to recognize, therapists rely solely on words to build presence, warmth, and trust.
So, how do you create a strong therapeutic presence when your client only knows you through a screen?
This module explores how to make clients feel truly seen and supported in text therapy, ensuring that your presence feels as real as in any in-person session.
What is online presence?
Online presence is the ability to make a client feel emotionally connected and engaged, even in a text-based format. It ensures that clients feel heard, validated, and supported. Not just exchanging messages, but truly engaging in a therapeutic process.
In virtual communication, presence isn't about being in the same room. It's about how you show up in the conversation. Clients should always feel that you are “here” with them, even if you're miles away behind a screen.
In face-to-face therapy, presence is conveyed through:
- Eye contact and facial expressions
- Tone of voice and verbal affirmations
- Body language that signals attentiveness and empathy
In text-based therapy, all of these non-verbal cues are missing. Without intentional effort, the client may feel like they are talking into a void. To compensate, therapists must actively demonstrate presence through their text responses.
Why is online presence important?
In face-to-face therapy, a pause can be a moment of reflection. A thoughtful nod, a reassuring gaze—these subtle cues let clients know you're with them.
But in text therapy, silence feels different. Without visual or verbal feedback, a delayed response can leave clients feeling ignored, uncertain, or even disconnected. They may wonder:
Did they see my message?
Or did they get distracted by a YouTube rabbit hole?
A strong online presence reassures clients that you are here, engaged, and actively listening, even when you're not physically present. This module will explore how to create a warm and supportive presence through text, ensuring that clients always feel connected, even in the quiet moments.
Now, imagine you're in a live therapy session, sharing something deeply personal:
I've been feeling really overwhelmed. It's like nothing I do is ever good enough...
Your therapist nods, takes notes, and sits in silence for 30 seconds. You might assume they're thinking or processing.
Now, imagine the same moment in text therapy. You send the message and get... nothing. A full minute passes. Then another. Suddenly, five minutes go by.
Did they see my message?
Are they trying to figure out what to say… or did they just forget about me?
Did I overshare? Maybe I shouldn't have said that...
Without real-time cues, silence in text therapy can feel uncertain or even unsettling. This is why therapists must actively maintain presence, even in the pauses, to ensure clients feel heard and supported.
Now, imagine a client in distress experiencing this in a therapy session. A long silence, even if unintentional, can increase anxiety, frustration, or disengagement. Clients may withdraw emotionally or even leave the session altogether if they feel ignored.
One of the most critical differences between text-based therapy and other forms of therapy is that clients can easily disconnect if they feel unheard or disengaged (especially if it is a free session).
In in-person therapy or video therapy, even if a client feels uncomfortable, they are still physically present. This means:
- If a client looks disengaged, the therapist has time to notice it and explore why.
- If a client is unsure about the session, they may still stay and continue talking.
However, in text therapy, the moment a client feels uncomfortable, misunderstood, or unsupported, they can simply close the chat and disappear without warning. This is particularly high-risk for crisis interventions, where a person experiencing suicidal ideation or distress may leave before receiving the support they need.
Four keys to create online presence
Now, we all know that maintaining a strong online presence in text therapy requires intentional effort. These four key strategies help therapists build connection, engagement, and trust which ensure that clients feel supported, even without face-to-face interaction.
Key 1: Timely response
Timely responses ensure that clients feel heard and engaged throughout the conversation. Unlike in face-to-face therapy, where non-verbal cues signal attentiveness, in text therapy, long response gaps may create anxiety or frustration for the client.
Why it matter:
- Clients may feel ignored if responses take too long.
- Delays can create uncertainty, causing clients to disengage.
- In crisis situations, an immediate response can provide emotional stabilization.
Scenario 1 - proper short response
When a client is sharing their story, they may send a long message or multiple messages in a row. In this case, the therapist can use brief responses, such as:
It makes sense
I'm following along
I see what you're saying
These responses do not necessarily serve a therapeutic purpose. They are not even reflections of the content, but simple cues that reassure the client that the therapist is present, engaged, and actively listening.
However, there is no need to do it repeatedly while the client is still sharing their thoughts. Doing so can cause three issues:
- The client may feel cut off.
- The therapist may miss the full story before the client finishes sharing.
- The therapist may come across as robotic. Clients may even question if they are talking to a real person. A human therapist waits for some responses rather than reacting to every small message.
A timely response does not mean replying instantly to every message but rather responding in a way that maintains engagement and reassures the client of your presence. It involves balancing attentiveness with thoughtful replies, ensuring that clients feel heard without rushing the therapeutic process.
Scenario 2 - let the client know you are thinking
When receiving a message, whether long or short, therapists may need time to process their response. One advantage of text therapy is that therapists can pause to construct thoughtful replies rather than responding immediately.
If more time is needed to type or think, it's best to be transparent and let the client know. For example:
I can feel that the situation you're facing is not easy... I'm going to take a moment to think and type my thoughts for you
This benefits both clients and therapists:
- Clients feel reassured that the therapist is engaged.
- Therapists can take time to craft their responses without the pressure of seeming absent.
- This is especially helpful on platforms that do not indicate when a therapist is typing.
Sometimes, therapists may feel the urge to reply quickly and end up responding with their immediate thoughts instead of being transparent about taking time to think. This can lead to rushed or less thoughtful responses, which may impact the quality of the conversation.
Based on clinical experience, clients actually appreciate when therapists are transparent about taking a moment to think, because it reassures them that their message is being carefully considered rather than ignored.
Key 2: Active acknowledgement
Active acknowledgment ensures that the therapist validates the client's experience without interrupting or dominating the conversation.
Why it matter:
- Helps build trust and rapport.
- Encourages clients to continue sharing.
- Reduces feelings of isolation.
Scenario 1 - acknowledging without interrupting
When clients are processing emotions, they may pause or hesitate in their text responses. Therapists can use acknowledgment to validate their experience without overwhelming them with responses.
⚠️ Less effective:
I feel like no one understands me
I understand completely. I get it. That must be really hard. Do you want to talk about it?
(Too much at once, feels overwhelming.)
✅ More effective:
I feel like no one understands me
That sounds really tough... I'm here to listen
Instead of giving multiple responses at once, this approach keeps it simple and focused. The client receives validation but still has space to continue sharing their thoughts without feeling rushed or redirected too soon. Effective acknowledgment reassures the client without interrupting their process.
Scenario 2 - keeping engagement without sounding automated
Acknowledgment should feel natural. If it sounds too mechanical or repetitive, the client may feel disconnected.
⚠️ Less effective:
It's just been so hard lately...
ok...
(Lacks warmth and connection.)
✅ More effective:
It's just been so hard lately...
That makes a lot of sense. It sounds like this has been weighing on you for a while...
This response personalizes the acknowledgment rather than using generic phrases. It mirrors the client's emotions in a way that feels genuine and invites them to share more. Avoiding robotic or overly brief responses helps maintain engagement and trust in the therapeutic relationship.
Key 3: Clarifying and summarizing
Clarifying and summarizing are fundamental counselling techniques, but in text-based therapy, they are even more crucial due to the absence of non-verbal cues and the potential for misinterpretation. In text conversations, messages can easily get fragmented or lost in long exchanges, which makes it necessary for therapists to guide the conversation with clear structure and focus.
Why it matter:
- Demonstrates attentiveness
Clients feel assured that the therapist is focused on their words and emotions. - Maintains conversation flow
Ensures the conversation remains structured rather than diverging into multiple directions. - Minimizes misunderstandings
Helps both therapist and client stay on the same page, avoiding confusion caused by text delays or message overlap.
Scenario 1 - preventing topic divergence
When responding to a client, therapists often use a structure of one reflection (validating their content or emotions) followed by one question to deepen the conversation. However, this can sometimes lead to the client responding to both the reflection and the question separately then causing the conversation to split into two topics.
⚠️ Less effective:
I just feel so lost. My work is overwhelming, and my partner isn't really supportive lately
It sounds like work is really exhausting you...
Also, what has been the hardest part about your relationship lately?
(The client may respond about both work and the relationship, and then make the conversation go in two different directions at once.)
✅ More effective:
I just feel so lost. My work is overwhelming, and my partner isn't really supportive lately.
I hear that both work and your relationship are weighing on you...
What would you like to share more about right now?
You may also try to see if different topics are actually related:
I hear that both work and your relationship are weighing on you...
Do you feel like stress from work is affecting your relationship, or are they separate concerns?
This approach helps maintain focus in the conversation while allowing the client to guide the session. By clarifying which topic they'd like to explore first or whether the concerns are connected, the therapist ensures the discussion remains structured and meaningful.
Scenario 2 - managing overwhelming messages and multiple concerns
Some clients may type long, detailed messages covering multiple concerns at once. While their expression is valuable, responding to everything at once can feel overwhelming for both the therapist and the client.
⚠️ Less effective:
I don't even know where to start... Work has been so stressful! I feel like I can't keep up with the workload, and my manager keeps piling more on me? Then, when I get home, my partner and I just keep arguing... It's like they don't even care how exhausted I am. I try to bring it up, but it just turns into another fight. Also, my sleep has been terrible, and I feel like I'm just running on empty every day... I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep going like this
I hear that work is stressful, and you are facing relationship issue, and you're feeling anxious about yourself. Let's go through each issue together
Can you tell me more about work? And also, what's been going on with your partner? Have you considered any strategies for improving your sleep?
(Too much information at once, lacks clear focus.)
✅ More effective:
It sounds like you're feeling completely drained—juggling work stress, tension at home, and exhaustion all at once...
What would you like to talk about most right now?
(When faced with long messages, acknowledge the complexity, then help the client focus on one issue at a time.)
By effectively using clarifying and summarizing, therapists enhance their online presence by making the conversation feel structured, validating, and focused which ensures that clients feel heard without feeling overwhelmed.
Did you know?
If the chatroom has a reply function, you can make good use of it. It helps clients follow the conversation more easily by clarifying which messages you are responding to.
Key 4: Managing silence appropriately
In face-to-face therapy, silence can be a tool for reflection. However, in text-based therapy, unacknowledged silence can lead to anxiety, disengagement, or even a client dropping out of the session. Therapists shoukd use intentional and transparent silence to support the therapeutic process while maintaining an active presence.
Why it matters:
- Prevents clients from feeling ignored or abandoned
Silence without acknowledgment may make clients anxious or disengaged. - Helps therapists guide the session's pacing
Appropriate silence allows clients time to process without feeling rushed. - Creates space for emotional reflection
Clients can sit with their emotions before responding and then lead to deeper self-awareness.
Scenario 1 - preventing unintentional silence
If a therapist takes time to think before responding, they should inform the client rather than remaining silent.
⚠️ Less effective:
I don't know if I can keep going anymore!
(The therapist remains silent for 2+ minutes while formulating a response.)
✅ More effective:
I don't know if I can keep going anymore!
I hear that this feels really overwhelming for you. I want to take a moment to reflect on how to best support you
Instead of long pauses, a simple reassurance, such as letting the client know you're reflecting, can maintain engagement, reduce anxiety, and reinforce therapist presence.
Scenario 2 - allowing clients time to process
Some clients may take longer to reply, especially when processing emotions. Therapists should avoid rushing them but also maintain presence.
⚠️ Less effective:
(It is 5 minute since the last chat from client.)
Are you still there?
(Feels abrupt and may pressure the client.)
✅ More effective:
(It is 5 minute since the last chat from client.)
Take your time. I'm here whenever you're ready
(Allows space while maintaining presence.)
By managing silence appropriately, therapists maintain a strong online presence and let the clients feel supported and engaged even in moments of pause.
Did you know?
Sometimes, clients indeed remain connected the entire time, but they may assume you still have something to say and continue waiting for your response. This is especially common in chatrooms that do not indicate when a user is typing.
Therapists may wonder: how long should I actually wait? While this depends on the centre's policy, you can generally follow these steps:
- After about 5 minutes, you can gently let the client know they can take their time to respond.
- If another 5 minutes pass with no reply, you can check in and ask if they are still there.
- For the second-to-last follow-up, it's recommended to inform the client that you are still waiting and will remain available for another 5 minutes.
- Before leaving the chat, always provide a proper closing message. Some chatroom designs allow one participant to see messages even after the other has left. A proper closing ensures the client does not feel abruptly disconnected and provides a sense of support and closure when they online again.
Key Takeaways
Building a strong online presence in text therapy requires intentional effort. Without verbal and non-verbal cues, therapists must use thoughtful responses to convey warmth, attentiveness, and support.
Timely responses help maintain engagement, while active acknowledgment reassures clients that they are heard. Clarifying and summarizing ensure conversations remain focused and prevent misinterpretation or topic divergence.
Managing silence appropriately is crucial, as unacknowledged pauses can create uncertainty. Letting clients know you are present, even in moments of reflection, strengthens therapeutic trust and connection.